Welcome Welcome Welcome those who are 'in the know' and the new eyes gracing The Domme Diaries 2nd edition. I sincerely thank you for taking some time to perhaps be enter/edutained.
Since most art modeling work has slowed down, I can now divert and devote a bit more time doing one of the many other things I enjoy and that's purveying kink.
However, as with everything, there's always a sliver of murky dark gray in the bright silver linings of any and every gig.
This entry shall shed some light on a part of a subject that I 'carefully' walk around at times because I'm still growing and with growth, a person such as myself learn heavily through experiences. These experiences cultivate who I am as a whole and in context to my Domme moments; how I operate. HOWEVER, I am going to be candid with this particular entry.
As it pertain to race; in the past I've questioned and continuously wonder about POC presence in kink. I've since then begun networking with and becoming more aware of some male and female POC who talk/educate/engage in kink privately as well as professionally.
BUT this entry (as most of my entries are) is definitely about the purveyor side of kink and the implications of mostly a misdirected and gravely miss-educated set of gentlemen who want to engage in kink on a pay for play basis.
This is about 'The Black Male Client' (insert 'dun dun duunnnn' piano sound bite here)
This may be a salty reality to digest for some, but virtually every time I accept a black client, some bullshit always happens when it comes to them procuring Professional service.
- Constant Haggling - You want to haggle, then go somewhere else. Because the other broads are short changing themselves for the same session or doing four much for too little, & that's a whole other matter all together. Subsequently, that issue spreads across the professional sectors because the gents come with this attitude.
- Black Penis Privilege - Because we’re both black so we should be cool and they’re paying for a kinky service, so they feel that they should be granted some special sexual privilege. Like they’re doing me a favor. This kind of bootleg 'swagger' or attitude they approach me with gets thwarted when I tell them, “I really don’t need your money”. Then they get upset. Fuck you, you came to me with your 'I shouldn't even be paying you' 'sexual privilege' attitude bullshit. Check that shit at the fucking gate! There’s good client’s which I ‘need’ their money ($300+ clients) and then there’s the hagglers who try to get over on sessions. They’ll request ala-cart (e.g. foot sessions which costs less because it's not considered an well rounded session) and then try to ask for more features to their session. Especially shit that’s never on the menu like my vagina. I make it very clear, there’s no sex with me in the champagne room damnit! I don’t care how much you think I’m ‘into it/you’ and thinking it can turn into you fucking me. NOT Happening! If you wanted sex, you should go to the ladies that work in that dept. At least they specialize in exactly what you want therefore, not wasting my time and energy on 'debating' while we're in session.
- Counterfeit Money - That shit is a HUGE problem out here right now. Parts of my business is paid in cash and occasionally through plastic. However, there are a lot of 10’s and 20’s floating around killing wallets. And due to the geography of the demographics, unfortunately, a majority of black clients seem to have them. I’ve heard directly from many other Pros with similar issues. Fortunately, it has never happened to me until of course I got two fake 20’s from a recent session with who? A black client (wasn’t the same client that other folks have seen. Some Pro’s share info, so I made sure to ask as they've had similar accounts).
Before someone asks, do you check the money? It’s ‘proper’ Pro etiquette to settle debt upfront to ensure that the correct amount is paid before a session begins. I’ve been working for a long while so I can literally feel certain amounts by touch and do a fairly quick scan. But now I may have to change that practice and literally take extra moments to check the coins.
That was my first time with 'wooden nickels' & it will be my last. However, the other issues are things I’ve had to contend with 98% of the time (that ole black penis privilege which makes for awkward sessioning and the constant haggling which is my personal/professional pet peeve #1). I have one older black gent on the roster and he causes me no grief. BUT I still had to set him straight once about the 'black penis privilege' attitude at first. We’re straight now but quite frankly that’s it for me professionally speaking.
AND before someone gives me shit about white clients (or other races besides black)... The ones I choose to work with know their lane from the start and if an infraction occurs during our tenure, I only have to pull their shit card ONE TIME. Contingent upon the infraction (which seldom happens), I choose to continue sessioning or not as he has understood. Unfortunately, it’s never a one time issue with my chosen black clients. I know the ratio of black men vs white who seek Pro Kink service is much smaller, but damn man EVERY TIME there’s gotta be some special bullshit and it’s always this SAME typical kind of bullshit? This is not 'the white savior' complex mentality and this definitely is not ‘the customer is always right’ kind of business. I call it like I experience it.
As much as I tried to give the benefit of the doubt and accept black clients (and believe me I've REALLY tried with quite a few from the 'average' working man to the executive). I get excited when I see a brother venturing into some form of kink and even happier when they are wanting to hire me to help explore it. But every time I’ve done it, I tell ya it never fails. Perhaps this viewpoint will change in the future, but for now, I'll pass.
As much as I tried to give the benefit of the doubt and accept black clients (and believe me I've REALLY tried with quite a few from the 'average' working man to the executive). I get excited when I see a brother venturing into some form of kink and even happier when they are wanting to hire me to help explore it. But every time I’ve done it, I tell ya it never fails. Perhaps this viewpoint will change in the future, but for now, I'll pass.
Now if anyone has an issue with my real life experience regarding this 'delicate' subject matter, please feel free to take a walk in my stilettos, hold my whip then holla at a Pro scholar only after you’ve done so.
Want more of the Dynamic one? I now reside in Tumblr via The Altered States of Aura... auradacity-of.tumblr.com for random enthusiastic musings beyond the Domme-sphere. Or I'm occasionally in the tweet tree via twitter @eyesonaura. You can also find me via Face Book under Aura Dynamo if we’re not connected already. Don't forget to send a message when you make that 'friend request'. At least I'll know where ya found me. If for some reason you can't find me there, leave your FB name/profile at audacityof@gmail.com so I can find you.
Delightful Disclaimer – ‘The Domme Diaries™' will predominantly contain thoughtful musings or direct adventures of Aura Dynamo. However, names, exact dates and anything else that might prove otherwise have been omitted to protect some of the 'innocent' and a few idiots.
"Go do something Audacious with yourself and enjoy the memories!" - Aura Dynamo®
Audacity Of… © 2013
Audacity Of… © 2013
Aura Dynamo captured by Henry Adebonojo (1st & last photos)
